Merle’s life remembered by kids; life lessons shared

Editor’s note: Darcy Lynn is a Capac grad who attended the recent funeral of fellow Capac Chief Merele Burgess. She has donated funds to the Four County Community Foundation made to Capac schools. She is a 1977 graduate of Capac high. Below are some of her thoughts on the recent passing of Burgess.

I just spent a weekend in Capac and happened to catch a funeral service for my old high school acquaintance. I was so blown away at what I learned that I was inspired to write the attached story on my friend Merle Burgess.

Who was Merle Burgess? This is the question I asked myself immediately after hearing some powerful eulogies at his funeral service at Kaatz Funeral Home in Capac on Saturday, February 1.

I set out to find answers. All I knew prior to his funeral service was that Merle and I played basketball together in high school, that he was the most improved player our senior year, was the starting center for our team, which was ranked second in the state all year, and was a very nice guy.

I also knew that Merle was very humble, as exemplified by his being the only person not to vote for himself for the most improved player award that senior year.

Back in high school, we never talked about faith, parenting, coping with loss, or the things that we now find so important in life.

What I learned about my old friend was something so deep and inspiring. Having heard his four children give their eulogies at his funeral, I now feel I know Merle so much better.

I know him as a real man, whose life was transformed, through good times and very bad, challenging times, by his deep abiding faith in God. He is in many ways a role model for the type of spiritual person, father, and friend that I strive to be.

Merle had three step-children, Brittiany, Mike and Matt, as well as one biological son, Noah. Below are excerpts from them and my reflections on those comments.

Brittiany stated, “He knew how to love us individually and show it to each of us in different ways.” Mike added, “Every child had a unique and beautiful relationship with him, and I know we all hold our own special memories of his love.”

My reflection was Merle’s example gives me hope that it is never too late for me and others to re-establish close ties with our children that we may have grown apart from.

Again from Brittiany, “Nothing is guaranteed and things will always happen.” Noah added, “My dad would often say, ‘well life isn’t fair kid. Better get used to it.’”

Merle’s wise words remind me that just as I have not always treated others fairly, sometimes life is going to be unfair to me, and I can live with that truth.

Brittiany shared “Merle had the power to mend broken relationships, and fill the holes of miscommunication.”

On Merle being a selfless person, his stepson Mike said, “He always put others first, making sure that we, his children, felt loved, supported, and cared for, even if it meant sacrificing his own needs.”

Matt added, “He was the epitome of what it means to be selfless, always putting others before himself. He’d go out of his way to help anyone no matter what.”

Noah felt his dad, “taught me the value of listening, of thinking before speaking, and that kindness and humility will take me further than pride ever could.”

My reflection was, “I am inspired to try harder to shed my tendency toward self and to put others first.

Looking back on his time with Merle, Mike noted, “My father taught me what it means to be a real man, not by his words, but by his actions. He showed me that being a true man means showing up for those you love, offering a helping hand without expecting anything in return, and giving of yourself even when it’s hard.”

Matt: shared of his stepdad, “Dad taught me that being a man isn’t about toughness or pride. Again, it’s about doing what’s right, even when it’s hard; about being kind, patient and humble; about being a provider, a protector, and a constant source of support for those you love. And he did it all with morals and integrity, standing firmly by the values he believed in.”

Much more so than some of the “tough” and “prideful” role models I have had, I firmly believe that my friend Merle is the type of man I want to be.

Noah said of his dad, “One of the greatest gifts my dad gave us was the unwavering certainty that he was proud of us. He showed up as my number one fan cheering me on like it was the most important moment in the world. I have seen my dad brag about us kids to the cashier at the gas station. He was proud of our smallest accomplishments.”

Mike (speaking directly to his father): “You didn’t have to be our stepfather, and yet you chose it, wanted it and embraced it.

Matt, “And of course there was his wife, the love of his life, who he adored with everything he had to offer. He was a devoted husband, always looking out for her, loving her with a depth that was truly inspiring. He cherished their time together, and their devotion towards each other was something that neither of them took for granted.”

Mike: “My dad passed away at 1:16 p.m. It wasn’t lost on any of us children that this was our mother’s birthday, January 16. Moments like this, even when we question our faith, serve as a reminder that the Lord is always with us.

Matt: recalled, “On the way home from a basketball game, if I complained about the call that a referee made my dad would say “no if they called a foul, it was a foul,” and he would follow up with his advice that life isn’t always fair.

Brittiany knew “The only thing Merle loved more than our family and the people in this room was God himself. Merle tried to walk like Christ every day of his life. Merle loved his faith and he knew I did too.

Noah added, “None of us came close to the relationship my dad had with God. My dad’s faith was remarkable and unshakable no matter the crisis.

Mike commented, “The Lord is always with us. It’s something my dad believed in with all of his heart, and it gives me peace to know that [in his final moments], he was never alone, he was with God, and God was with him.”

Merle set an example for me to follow the next time life inevitably threw me a curve ball.

As I reflect on past losses, I see that Merle was right, when I am close to God, going through painful losses can lead to something better.

In conclusion, I am so honored to have met Merle’s family and rediscovered, and have gotten to really know, an old friend who, prior to now, was a mere acquaintance.

The young pastor at Kaatz Funeral Home summed it up perfectly, referencing St Paul: Merle finished the race. He fought the good fight.

Thank you my friend. May you rest in peace and may I be lucky enough to be reunited with you, my father, and all of our loved ones when my time comes.

— Darcy Flynn,
Capac High School Class of 1977