Fear of Missing out; Joy of missing out

FOMO into JOMO
It was a quiet December Sunday afternoon and I faced a dilemma that seemed small but left a lasting impact.

I could go to a Christmas party with some old friends I hadn’t seen in months, OR stay home, relax, walk my dogs, and cook dinner.

There would be a few hours of travel involved to see my friends and I would not be home until late.

I thought long and hard, and given the limited free time I have, I opted to stay home. Nothing memorable happened that afternoon; I was not rushed and it was quiet.

During my peaceful afternoon I saw the pictures my friends had posted and I immediately regretted my decision, overcome with FOMO, otherwise known as fear of missing out.

It hit like a wave–a rush of envy for their laughter, regret for staying behind, and curiosity about the fun I missed.

FOMO is a relatively new term coined by marketing strategist Patrick J. McGinnis. It may be a recent term, but it is well known to most everyone: the worry that you are missing out on something really fun.

One of the problems with FOMO is you are never completely satisfied with your choices; you are constantly worried that a better option might arise.

You end up not enjoying whatever you choose because you are worried you should have chosen something better.

I recently read Oliver Burkeman’s book Four Thousand Weeks, which explores how to live meaningfully within the finite time we are given.

I was struck by this memorable line: “…it’s almost incomprehensibly miraculous to be given any time at all” (p. 66). Burkeman says that one feels a rush of gratitude when one understands that even the ability to make a choice is a gift.

Talk about a perspective swing. The counter to FOMO is JOMO.

JOMO, or the joy of missing out, is the realization that all of life is a gift and that even having choices is a privilege.

The fact that we choose something over something else imbues that choice with meaning.

To quote Burkeman again, “It is precisely the fact that I could have chosen a different and perhaps equally valuable way to spend this afternoon that bestows meaning the choice I did make” (p. 69).

The Psalmist says it like this: “Teach us to number our days so we can have a wise heart.” (Psalm 90:12 CEB).

My peaceful Sunday afternoon wasn’t wasted-it was a gift. It taught me to embrace the choices I make with gratitude.

Every moment of life is miraculous, and every choice carries meaning.

Dear Reader, may you find not only joy in the choices you make but also the wisdom to see each choice as a gift.

Works Cited Burkeman, Oliver. Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. New York: Picador, Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2021.